Disney Therapist Helps Villains
by Meg-Servo
Summary: Disney Therapist Meg meets with different villains to help them sort their problems.
1. Author's Note

Author's Note:  
  
Notice how my stories end short. There is a reason for that. I wrote the Ratcliffe and Hades story when I was on geocities and had VERY little space. And if you knew me..I HATE re-writing stories. So, sorry if I ended it short to anyone who expected it to be longer. 


	2. Ratcliffe

"Maam, Governor Ratcliffe is here for his 3 o'clock appointment."  
  
"Great! Give him these papers to sign."   
(Dr. Meg hands secretary Ling the papers explaining there will be no violence and of course, sexual intercourse, while in the office or outside work) (10 minutes later)   
"Dr. Meg?"   
"Oh governor, it's so good to meet you finally." (Meg shakes hands with Ratcliffe)   
"Ya ya, um, where would you like me to sit?"   
"Anywhere by my chair at my desk." (Ratigan sits on the big yellow couch, twiddling his thumbs)   
"Are you nervous governor?"   
"No, NO!"   
"Oh yes, it doesn't show. What is on your mind?"   
"I'm just angered."   
"About what?"   
"That the wretched boy Wiggins sent me here."   
"Well, he did it out of care. You know he looks up to you."   
"...He does?"   
"Of course he does, or else he wouldn't have sent you to see me. Speaking of which, why do you think Mr. Wiggins sent you here?"   
"I...I...I don't know."   
"I believe you do. Now what has happened governor?"   
"I guess, I'm just troubled."   
"About what governor?"   
"I've never been a..popular man."   
"Oh, do you think popularity is all that matters?"   
"Well Meg, look at Smith. I'm surprised they haven't built him a shrine or have girls swooning over him."   
"Uh....governor?"   
"Yes?"   
"...Nevermind, but I sense jealousy."   
(stands up) "JEALOUSY!?"   
"HEY! Please sit.." (Ratcliffe sits down) "Now governor, are you jealous?"   
(Ratcliffe mumbles) "Governooor."   
"...Yes..."   
(smiles) "It's all right. Everyone tends to be jealous at times. But I must wonder, how did you deal with your jealousy?"   
"Well, I didn't do it out of anger of course."   
"Are you lying?"   
"NO!"   
"OKAY! OKAY! Tell me, what helped you with your jealousy?"   
"Well...something that I love soo much, but others thought that I was obsessing about it."   
"So, what is it that you're obsessing about?"   
"The gooold."   
"The gold governor?"   
"Yes, I just want the gold in Virginia. But those stupid natives have it."   
"I see..and how do you know they have it?"   
"Well...I..I don't know."   
"And how do you know if the map is wrong governor?"   
"I don't know.."   
"I see...and do you think that there IS no gold. And that the gold that the 'people' were refering to was the corn that the natives grew."   
"No..there HAS to be gold!"   
"But governor, face it, I've seen the movie millions of times..there isn't."   
"I will hang that blasted Wiggins for sending me here."   
"Governor..RELEASE your stress..breathe in and out."   
(crying) "But I want the gold."   
"I know..I know..but do you really need it?"   
"What do you mean?"   
"Wouldn't you rather be respected for who you are then what you have."   
(thinks) "No.."   
"Trust me..it will work."   
"But no one likes me."   
"I do governor."   
"You do?"   
"Yes, because I know deep inside there is a little someone in there who just wants to make you smile because you will love the world."   
"No I won't.."   
"Maybe if you stopped 'obsessing' about the gold governor, then maybe you will be respected."   
"Ha! What can I do to be respected?"   
"Well, let's see. Stop lying."   
"I don't lie."   
"You did it just now."   
"All right! All right! Go on..."   
"And you are not going to like this..but give some of your money to the poor."   
"EXCUSE ME!?"   
"I will tell you this, if you give money to the poor, you will be highly respected and considered a great man, just by giving some of your money to the poor. And well, the ladies will love you for it and be swooning over you."   
"But I'm not handsome."   
"Who says looks matter?"   
"Are you sure this will work Meg?"   
"I'm positive, and if not, come back and set up an appointment to see me."   
"Ok...I will try giving some of my money to the poor."   
"No, you will!"   
"I will!"   
"Exactly!"   
"But what about my love for gold?"   
"There's nothing wrong with love for something. How about this, there's a jewelry store at the end of this street. I know there must be gold jewelry there. Why don't you check it out?"   
"...But I want to sell gold to be rich."   
"Oh, then I can't help you there. Ask a miner or someone nearby, maybe they can help."   
"Ok, thank you Meg. You've helped me a lot!"   
"Don't thank me, thank Wiggins, after all, he brought you here."   
"You're right. I will have to thank him. Oh, you've made me so happy Meg!"   
"Well that's good. And remember what I have told you. Okay?"   
"I will Dr. Meg." (Ratcliffe hugs Meg) "Good bye!"   
"Good bye Governor!"   
(walks out), "OK Ling! Call me when someone else comes in!" 


	3. Hades

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"Dr. Meg, Hades is here to see you now."  
  
"Thank you Ling, send him right in."   
~Hades walks in~   
"Well hello there Hades, nice to finally meet you."   
"With all the souls coming in rapidly, what are you gonna do?"   
"That's true. So what's up?"   
"I was going to ask you that sweet cheeks."   
"Well, someone by the name of Ignatz wanted you to see me."   
"For what?"   
"I don't know, you tell me. Let's start with your childhood."   
"My childhood!?"   
"So sue me, it's the first thing they taught us in psychiatric school."   
"Well, my childhood was bad. I was eaten by my father and didn't get out until I grew to manhood. I didn't go to school or have a girlfriend."   
"What was it like in..well..your dad?"   
"It was dark, gloomy, smelled bad."   
"Just like where you are now?"   
"......you could say that."   
"How did you get out?"   
"....Zeus."   
"Zeus basically saved your life, and from what I saw, you tried to over throw him on Olympus?"   
"Ya ya, what's the big deal?"   
"Your little brother saved you. So why would you want to over throw him?"   
"BECAUSE I GOT SICK AND TIRED OF LIVING IN A PLACE THAT REMINDED ME OF MY DAD'S BELLY!"   
*slap* "Don't yell at me!"   
*rubs cheek* "Owww...."   
"Sorry."   
"No you're not."   
"Don't start acting like Kuzco."   
"But he's not a villain."   
"To this woman Inya, he was. Ok ok, now. Why couldn't you just TALK to Zeuz about, let's say, a transfer?"   
"I did."   
"And?"   
"He said he already gave every god and goddess a gift and the only one left was birth-giving."   
"Why didn't you take that?"   
"I think I like the Underworld better. By the way, who is Ignatz?"   
"I don't know. He was small and green and his wife was this fat purple midget woman."   
*Hades turning hot* "Pain and Panic....."   
"Now calm down. I'll be right back."   
*Dr. Meg walks out*   
*15 minutes later*   
*Dr. Meg walks in* "Sorry about that.."   
"Am I going to be charged for those 15 minutes?"   
"Yes"   
"Why!?"   
"Because your burning my couch and I'll need money to replace it!"   
"WHAT!?"   
"Now calm down. I have the answer to your solution."   
"About taking over Olympus!?"   
"No no no, I have a better idea."   
"What can be better than taking over Olympus?"   
"Ever heard of Martha Stewart?"   
"No..."   
*knock on door*   
"Come in."   
Martha: "Hello Dr. Meg. Is Hades here?"   
Dr. Meg: "Right there Martha."   
Martha: "I heard you had problems with your home. Making you angry and depressed."   
Hades: "What's it to you?"   
Dr. Meg: "Well Hades, how about re-decorating the Underworld how you like it with the help of Martha?"   
Hades: "How is THAT going to help?"   
Dr. Meg: "Easy, by painting the place up, getting a garden, making the place smell well. It might make you FORGET about living in your dad's belly."   
Hades: "How am I ever going to forget that!?"   
Dr. Meg: "I think it might work. It may not help you forget about it. But it will make you not think about it as much as you used to."   
Hades: "Hmm, good good."   
Dr. Meg: "And besides, it's going to look how you want it to look."   
Hades: "I like the sound of that."   
Dr. Meg: "So what do you say?"   
Hades: "I say..thank you doc." *shakes hand*   
Dr. Meg: "No problem, now just show Martha the way and you'll be all set." (Meanwhile, down in The Underworld a couple weeks later)   
(Hades in a straw hat is kneeling working on his garden)   
Panic: "Your royal fireness. Your order of roses came in today!"   
Hades: "Good good, just set them beside the daisies."   
Panic: "Right boss!"   
(Pain and Panic run in and put the roses by the daisies)   
Hades: *looking mad* "Pain.....Panic....."   
Pain and Panic together: "Y-y-y-yes?"   
Hades: "YOU'RE TRAMPLING MY PETUNIAS!!!!!" 


End file.
